I lay on the floor, pressing my body against the soft carpet, trying to make myself as low as possible. I didn’t dare open my eyes, the last thing I would see was a bright light and then there would be pain and darkness – permanent darkness. I couldn’t make myself take the deep breath I needed to move because the last thing I would taste was fire. My house was burning, and I was being roasted inside. All I was able to do was draw in one last wavering breath, before letting my face fall into the carpet.
All hope was gone.
Then I felt it – there was someone there, watching me. Wishing he could help, lend his expertise in some way. I could feel the sorrowful longing wash over the room. He had the ringing desire to reach his hand out and help me, he wanted to save me. His presence seemed to quench the flames, making them smaller and less threatening. Somehow I found the strength to take the deep breath I needed to stand. Keeping my head low, I reached to my left, letting my hand rest on the bookshelf, the reason I had come back into this godforsaken fire.
One more breath, and I lifted the personalized chest containing the seven most important things in my life – their pages containing the story of people I had never met, but was closer to than anyone person I could name. I took a step forward and almost lost it all – I stumbled, almost dropping everything I held dear, including my own life, into the flames.
Something caught me.
It wasn’t a hand, or a physical person, because I looked and no one was there. I closed my eyes, and felt that same presence – he was still watching. He knew my pain, he had seen it a million times before, and he wasn’t going to let it happen again. Clutching the chest to my body, I ran, through the door of my room and up the stairs. I somehow had the strength to keep going, amid the falling timbers and enflamed walls that had once been my home.
I forced my way through the front door, keeping my treasures close. That first breath of the cool winter’s air was heaven in my lungs. It was a renewal of life, a second chance. Almost desperately, I looked around – wanting to declare my eternal thanks and life’s debt to whomever had had the courage to save me.
There was no one there.
Then I felt it – there was someone there, watching me. Wishing he could help, lend his expertise in some way. I could feel the sorrowful longing wash over the room. He had the ringing desire to reach his hand out and help me, he wanted to save me. His presence seemed to quench the flames, making them smaller and less threatening. Somehow I found the strength to take the deep breath I needed to stand. Keeping my head low, I reached to my left, letting my hand rest on the bookshelf, the reason I had come back into this godforsaken fire.
One more breath, and I lifted the personalized chest containing the seven most important things in my life – their pages containing the story of people I had never met, but was closer to than anyone person I could name. I took a step forward and almost lost it all – I stumbled, almost dropping everything I held dear, including my own life, into the flames.
Something caught me.
It wasn’t a hand, or a physical person, because I looked and no one was there. I closed my eyes, and felt that same presence – he was still watching. He knew my pain, he had seen it a million times before, and he wasn’t going to let it happen again. Clutching the chest to my body, I ran, through the door of my room and up the stairs. I somehow had the strength to keep going, amid the falling timbers and enflamed walls that had once been my home.
I forced my way through the front door, keeping my treasures close. That first breath of the cool winter’s air was heaven in my lungs. It was a renewal of life, a second chance. Almost desperately, I looked around – wanting to declare my eternal thanks and life’s debt to whomever had had the courage to save me.
There was no one there.
Fantasy? Or not?
5 comments:
Wow. This is AWESOME!!!!!!! You really have a gift. You make this an art. However, I have a small suggestion; you may want to clarify a few things (such as the seven treasures and the presence). All in all, great!
Yeah, This had to be the best I have read on the prompt. I like how you didnt share what everything was exactly, you left it to the imagination.
It's a very modern form. I love how the colors match the prompt. You can almost feel the heat just looking at the letters.
wow that was incredible. you are a very talented writer and i loved how you painted a picture in my mind. This was a very good response and i look forward to reading more from you in the future. I really like the end part where you say "fantasy or not." it really made me think about it
WOW!!that was an awesome response to the prompt. I like like how you colored the different paragraphs like a fire. I really like how you ended the prompt, it lets you imagine what you want.
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